别把宠物当孩子（附音频+双语）
Stop Calling Your
Pets Your “Children
柯宁莘 译注
By
Chelsea Samelson
把猫狗当作孩子，把自己称作“爹地”、“妈咪”，当宠物在人们生活中的比重越来越大时，人们对其态度也发生了改变。除了日常给它们洗澡、喂食和拥抱之外，我们甚至还给它们建起社交账号，带它们做美容、练瑜伽、举办各种派对，甚至觉得养好了宠物，自己今后就会是合格的父母。那么，人们对宠物的爱真的可以等同于对孩子的爱吗？
（先领提取码：5skx）
I
n case you missed it, a video last week showed a miniature horse eating a bowl of carrots—from a high chair1. A high chair. Yes, really.
Some people were appalled, some were amused, some simply couldn’t believe that someone, somewhere put a horse in a high chair.
But perhaps it shouldn’t be all that surprising—it might seem absurd, but it might also be the logical extension of the growing trend of treating animals as human and treating pets as children, equivalent to the toddler2who eats from the same chair.
你可能错过了上周的视频，在视频中一匹迷你马在高脚椅上吃一碗胡萝卜。是的，你没看错，就是高脚椅。
有些人对此感到震惊，有些人以此为乐，还有些人根本不敢相信居然有人会让一匹马坐在高脚椅上。
但也许用不着那么大惊小怪的，虽然可能看起来很荒谬，但这也许是人们越来越将动物视作自己同类和将宠物视作孩子（即坐在高脚椅上吃饭的幼儿）的必然结果。
注释：
1. high chair: 小孩子吃饭坐的高脚椅。
2. toddler: 学步的小孩。
Examples of this attitude are everywhere, and range from the innocent to the near-insane. Some people dress up their pets for Halloween, throw them birthday parties3, or create social media accounts for them. There are now five-star cat resorts, offering spa services, fine dining, and four-poster beds4. Yoga studios now offer “doga”5 classes to teach downward dog—to dogs. Fancy boutiques sell designer pet panties and bikinis, and doctors will perform cosmetic surgery in case your pet needs a facelift.
Should any of this cause concern? Should we just smile and nod when people call their pets their kids and treat them as such? Should we shrug off the Facebook page “Animals are People Too” and “My Child has Four Paws” bumper stickers?6
No. Because animals aren’t people. And pets aren’t children.
有这种态度的人随处可见，程度从天真单纯到接近疯狂。一些人为万圣节的到来特意打扮自己的宠物，在家为它们举办生日聚会，或者为它们创建社交账号。现在还有五星级猫咪度假村，提供水疗、美食甚至四柱床。瑜伽馆目前开始提供“狗瑜伽”课程来教导狗狗下犬式。高档时髦的精品店售卖设计师专为宠物制作的内裤和比基尼。如果您的宠物需要做个美容拉皮的话，医生将对其进行整容手术。
任何一种这类现象是否值得引起关注呢？当人们把宠物当孩子养的时候，我们是否应该仅仅微笑着默许？我们又是否应该对脸书上那些“动物也是人”的页面和“我的宝宝有四个爪”等汽车保险杠贴纸视而不见呢？
不能。因为动物不是人，且宠物也不是孩子。
注释
3. throw a party:（尤指在自己家里）举行聚会。
4. four-poster bed:（老式可带拉帘的）四根帷柱的床。
5. doga: 狗瑜伽，是主人与宠物狗一起参加的瑜伽课，旨在通过一定的姿势和按摩方式来改善狗的各项机能，加强狗与主人的关系。
6. shrug off: 对……不予理睬，对……不屑一顾；bumper sticker: 保险杠贴纸。
Pointing out basic biological realities shouldn’t trigger outrage or offense, but when it comes to pets today, it often does.
There seems to be confusion about the difference between pets and children and an increasingly large group of people who genuinely believe that having a pet is the same thing as being a parent. They adopt the language of parenthood with their pets, calling themselves “mommy” or “daddy” when talking to their “fur kid7,” “baby,” “or “child,” for example.
Of course, it’s one thing to use such language lightly, as an innocent expression of love or a reflection of the great joy and deep bonds that pets, like children, can create.
It’s quite another to use this language literally8.
Words matter. Using inaccurate labels for things doesn’t just blur the very real lines between pets and people; it can lead to dangerous delusions9. What if a woman starts thinking she knows what a mom of two kids is going through because she’s a “mom” to two cats? What if a man believes having a baby won’t be much different than being a “dad” to a dog? Misnaming isn’t just silly linguistics if it triggers a retreat from reality.
如果只是从基本的生物学层面上指出这个事实，应该不会引起愤怒或者攻击，但现在要涉及宠物，这就难免了。
宠物和孩子这两者之间的区别似乎出现了混淆，那些真心相信养宠物和做父母是一回事的人开始越来越多。他们在与自己的宠物说话的时候，会采用父母的口吻。比如，当他们和自己的“毛孩子”、“宝贝”或“孩子”交流的时候，会称自己是“妈咪”或“爹地”。
当然，一方面来说，少量地使用这种称呼也无伤大雅，只作为单纯的爱的表达，反映出宠物能够像孩子一样带给人巨大快乐，并能与人维系很深的情感。
但如果仅照字面意思使用，那就另当别论了。
用词极为重要。贴上不正确的标签不仅仅会模糊了人与动物之间的真实界线，还可能导致危险的错觉。试想如果一个女人仅仅因为自己是两只猫的“妈妈”，便认为可以做好两个孩子的母亲呢？如果一个男人认为养一个孩子和当一条狗的“爸爸”没什么区别呢？如果称谓不当会使人们脱离现实，这就不仅仅是一个愚蠢的语言学问题了。
……
……
1
7. fur kid: 被主人当孩子对待的宠物。
8. literally: 照字面义地。
9. delusion: 妄想，错觉。
未
完
待
续
把宠物当孩子养，难道不是真爱吗？
事实恰巧相反，
无视或者强烈否认两者间的基本差别，
对宠物和人都没有好处。详见2017《英语学习》7月刊
主编： 侯毅凌
责任编辑：
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